I will not insist on controlling every single aspect of your job, from deciding which of the interns will take a certain run to whether you email or call someone with a question, and then complain that “I have to do everything around here.”
I will not spend the entire morning browsing the internet and then, as soon as you ask to step away to grab lunch, exclaim, “Now?! But we have so much work to get done!”
The first words I say to you on Monday morning will not be, “You better pull yourself together - we have a lot of work to get done,” especially if you haven’t already done something to indicate that you are not pulled together and ready to work.
If I share you with another executive, I will not make you run personal errands for me during the workday and lie to your other boss about where you’re going.
I will understand that sending 1GB files as email attachments is not yet possible. I will also understand that this has nothing to do with the Internet “being broken” and will not expect you to be able to “fix it,” or require you to explain this to me on a weekly basis.
If you told me yesterday that you had no plans for Valentine’s Day, and you show up today clearly hungover, I will not inquire into or remark upon your current state. Unless I want you to start analyzing postmortems of the various “dates” I go on at restaurant reservations you’ve made for me around town.
I will not peer over your shoulder as you’re eating lunch at your desk, point to a random event in your personal calendar, and ask, “What’s that?”
I will not buy a new cell phone, which is not a Blackberry or an iPhone, and then get mad at you when you’re unable to change the locations of the applications on its screen, “like on a Blackberry or an iPhone.”
I will not tell you that “‘l’ll take care of the Valentine’s Day reservations myself,” only for you to discover the day beforehand that by “take care of” I actually meant “put off taking care of until it’s the very last second and then scream at you when all the hot restaurants in town turn out to be fully booked.”
