To My Assistant

Notes for my future assistant. Let's both of us hope that I don't change too much in between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you.

Vintage To My Assistant (if by “vintage” you mean 2 years old)

Leading up to the publication of the To My Assistant book on April 23rd, I’ll be posting some oldies but goodies out of the TMA archive, for those of my new followers who haven’t gone back into all 72 pages of the blog, and for those of my old followers who won’t mind seeing a few old favorites.

Any requests for reposts, or any new ones you want to add? Go to the Submit page, ask, and you shall (most likely) receive.

Boss wrangling is an under-appreciated art, and these sections in the book will hopefully help you all perfect it. If you haven’t already.

Boss wrangling is an under-appreciated art, and these sections in the book will hopefully help you all perfect it. If you haven’t already.

What your boss really means when he or she asks you to take dictation. A chart from the upcoming book.

What your boss really means when he or she asks you to take dictation.

A chart from the upcoming book.

If you’ve never had this conversation with your boss, you’re the luckiest assistant in the world. If you have this conversation with your boss less than three times a week, you’re still luckier than most of us. From the upcoming book.

If you’ve never had this conversation with your boss, you’re the luckiest assistant in the world. If you have this conversation with your boss less than three times a week, you’re still luckier than most of us.

From the upcoming book.

“Medicine” (annoying and awkward procurement of)

I will not involve you in any aspect of my weird homeopathic remedies, especially if it involves you going to the out-of-the-way home of a hippie “doctor” on a weekend to pick up a strange herbal “medicine” that may or may not be legal, and which I will probably stop taking after two doses anyway.

This is Work (Not The Hunger Games)

I will not make you and another assistant play Rock Paper Scissors in front of all the executives in the office to determine who has to go pick up everyone’s lunch order.

Ever wonder the exact breakdown of what exactly your bosses are doing when they’re “working” on something? Here’s a peek at a chart from the book that might give you some answers.

Ever wonder the exact breakdown of what exactly your bosses are doing when they’re “working” on something? Here’s a peek at a chart from the book that might give you some answers.

Happy Monday! Here’s a peek at a chart from the book, detailing our ever-so-healthy office eating habits.

Happy Monday! Here’s a peek at a chart from the book, detailing our ever-so-healthy office eating habits.