To My Assistant

Notes for my future assistant. Let's both of us hope that I don't change too much in between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you.

Valentine’s Day (results of)

If you told me yesterday that you had no plans for Valentine’s Day, and you show up today clearly hungover, I will not inquire into or remark upon your current state. Unless I want you to start analyzing postmortems of the various “dates” I go on at restaurant reservations you’ve made for me around town.