To My Assistant

Notes for my future assistant. Let's both of us hope that I don't change too much in between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you.

Rides (taking you up on them)

If, during your first few weeks of working for me, you offer to pick me up from the airport on a weekend at an awkward hour, I will not take you up on it, since I know you’re just offering to be nice and earnest, and I can expense the cab ride anyway.