To My Assistant

Notes for my future assistant. Let's both of us hope that I don't change too much in between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you.

Requests (results of)

I will not tell you to hire “way more interns, like at least six,” and then, after you do so, ask you, “Why on earth do we have so many interns sitting around doing nothing? Are we paying them? How many of our sodas are they drinking?”