To My Assistant

Notes for my future assistant. Let's both of us hope that I don't change too much in between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you.

The A/V Club (not deserving a membership)

I will not insist that you teach me how to use the office A/V equipment, so that you “don’t interrupt my important meetings by coming in and out of them,” and then, after my first attempts to play a YouTube video on the projector result in my accidentally Skyping with someone from Japan, accuse you of trying to sabotage me, when we both know I just wasn’t paying attention to you.