To My Assistant

Notes for my future assistant. Let's both of us hope that I don't change too much in between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you.

Emergencies (of the furniture variety)

I will not summon you to my condo on a Saturday morning because “it’s an emergency!” only for you to arrive to find that I need you to put together an Ikea dresser before the dinner party I’m planning the next night, even though no one will even see the dresser, as it’s going in my bedroom.