To My Assistant

Notes for my future assistant. Let's both of us hope that I don't change too much in between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you.

Microwaved Meals (it’s not Top Chef)

I will not insist that you “overcooked” the Healthy Choice meal you just microwaved me for dinner, even though you followed the instructions on the package exactly, as if it’s not already bad enough that you’re preparing my dinner, a terrible omen for how long this night will probably last.

  1. tomyassistant posted this