To My Assistant

Notes for my future assistant. Let's both of us hope that I don't change too much in between now and whenever it is I have enough wealth and importance to hire you.

My Car (scratches)

If I scratch my brand new BMW, I’ll take it to the shop to have it fixed, instead of giving the keys to you, asking you where the scratch came from, denying all knowledge of the scratch, and then being caught on CCTV dragging the side of my car against a concrete pylon in the parking garage two days earlier.